WHO NEW YOU?

I have been caught up in the thickness of fear and self something i don't know what to call it,i almost don't want to go to any more actions/events, i am fear full of something and i don't know what. I want to stay in bed, cover my head and let the world go by me. I think i want to find somewhere i can go where i don't know anyone and no one knows me.All those new wimmin, wimmin i love so much but how can you love someones and be fear full of them at the same time? My alter is having a ball yapping in my head. She said that my fear was a sign that i had some demons i needed to deal with, i said to her fine but who are the demons?where are they?why are they on my butt? what do i need to do? Me alter said to me to slow down, breathe deep and listen to my heart beat Listen to my heart beat? my heart sounds like 15 drums all going at the same time. I think i need someone to talk to , someone who has no need to make judgements on what i think i have to say,cuz i'm not really sure of what i have to say. Me alter said i needed to make silence my friend and embrace the quiet. I must do something, maybe silence is the answer. I remember when i decided to talk only to wimmin for a whole year, wow what a year that was, i got sent to jail for not talking to a police officer,then went to jail in jail for not talking to the social worker who was not a womon,then went to jail in jail again for not talking to the judge who was not a womon, and when i would tell the wimmin that i would only talk to wimmin, i got written up for a visit to the shrink,who was a womon, and then i talked my ass off, and she wrote up the report,after i made sure that she realized that i was not nuts, just talking to wimmin-only. So on finding someone to talk to my honie was the one, i learned how to write the unspoken language of Runic and wrote many letters to my honie who answered me in the same Runic language. Maybe this is the time for silence again, however as i have been often told by some of my elders remember burnt child fears fire. I don't know that i could go to jail again, go thru all of the shit of jail again and come out sane as i did before i don't know that I'm that strong now. O FEAR HOW DO YOU HOLD ME AS YOU DO? O FEAR HOW CAN I RID MYSELF OF YOU. O FEAR O FEAR O FEAR TURN ME LOOSE.