THE REEL WURLD

Have you ever been spun on an axis?

RESPONSIBILITY MUST I HAVE IT OR BE IT?

Am I my sister's keeper? I thought that one was for the brothers only and does not apply to sistahs nor sisters or does it? And if I am my sisters/sistah keepers who keeps me? Am I my own keeper or does someone else keep me? And who is this someone else? where is she? will she show herself to me? and if she will when? and will I know her when she shows herself? and how will I know her? will she give me a clue? a glance? a nod? a wink? a something to show me that she is the one? I have been told that timing was one of the most important things in life to be aware of, what if my timing is off?

WHY SALLY WHY?

The more I am around S...y the more jittery I get, I don't know what it is but I find myself repeating what I say as though I don't have the confidence of words and I find that I am beginning to stutter a lot when I am talking with her. She asked me what was the matter with me last night at the (LESBIAN HOUSE DINING -in-wimmin-only-space), I lied and said nothing that I thought that maybe I was just tired. She said to me that she thought I needed a change of atmosphere or scenery and that she thought I needed to develop another set of wimmin friends, she went on to tell me that she did not think that most of the wimmin who came to the meetings were really my friends and that they just didn't have anywhere else to go where they could be so trendy and kinky, I told her that I thought that was a pretty snap judgement to make when she had only seen or been around the wimmin that one night. She said something that I found to be very interesting quote "when you live homeless and on the streets you have to be able to make judgements very quickly because most of the times it is not the judgement that saved your ass but the quickness in which you act on those judgements," she went on to say that what she told me was what she saw and she knew that I would not like what she had to say. She said that my worry over the fire was my way of not dealing with the reality of not having told the wimmin that she was living in the backyard in the tree, and that I feared losing their friendship so much that she knew if it were necessary she would be the one who would be asked to move. I did not deny anything, nor did I admit to anything. She asked me if I enjoyed the fire last night and if I enjoyed the wimmin who came out to the fire and joined us. I had given no thought to the other wimmin around the fire and I let her know that I really did enjoy the fire. She told me that of the fifty wimmin who were there I should become selective about who or rather which ones of them I really trusted and liked and to find out which one of them trusted or liked me. She also said that G..... the womon who owned THE HOUSE was one of the wimmin who had a great respect for me. I laughed at that one and said I don't think so, she responded with time will show you. She said the heavy set womon ( I knew she was talking about D....the womon who said she was addicted to eating meat) she is the most sincere womon in the group however she is very much in need of a lot of attention and caring for, and if I did not intend to give her a lot of attention I should not make an attempt to establish a friendship with her. I asked her if she would build another fire, she did.

THE FOREVER FLAME

Well S...y did what she said she would, she built a beautiful fire ring and stacked a wonderful bit of wood to be used. She said she had no need to come into THE HOUSE during the meeting tonight but that she would tend the fire and anyone who wanted to join her around the fire was welcome. I was more nervous about what our neighbors would say when they saw a fire and I again address myself to this with S...y she again said you will not know until the fire starts. I know she is right but I still am concerned. That was not my only concern I wondered what the wimmin would say about her living in the backyard in the tree. I said this to her and her response to me was "well I suppose you must have something to worry about." Should I get pissed off or no? Then out of nowhere me alter said well hello, so who invited you back I heard myself say,she responded with "well you did say you missed me." I did say that I did I did. But back to S...y, I wondered if she was going to show off here new home to any of the wimmin tonight, but I dare not ask. Time is getting close THE HOUSE really looks nice I pick some greenery from the yard for centerpieces and the music I have on tonight is from Barbara Ester's Day to Day CD. So now it is a matter of waiting and seeing. I know this one will be good.