STILL LEAVING

Well it took me quite a few days to really leave and go to be homeless. i pondered and pondered on leaving a note for my mother, sisters, and some of the wimmin from the group. i got tired of pondering and figured if i am going to do this i have to really do it, so with the clothes i had on, some change, a full meal in my gut, water and some dried fruit i walked away from THE HOUSE. i had gotten to the bus stop and was thinking of catching the bus somewhere but me alter came to me and said "you may need that money for something more important, and besides where would you catch the bus to in order to be homeless"? so i didn't catch the bus, i started to walk, i had been walking like what seemed to me hours, i had started to enjoy the walk the weather was absolutely great, but i realized i had only walked for 1 hour 20Min's when i spotted a clock on a building. i got to thinking i needed to sit down somewhere and spied a bus bench, i didn't mean to but i fell asleep sitting on the bench, i don't know how long i had been sleep and woke up with a start when a body plopped down next to me on the bench i became very annoyed and realized i was acting as though the bench was mine already. i sat up in a i am not asleep position, the body next to me was a womon who was waiting for a bus, i wondered how many buses had passed while i dozed. i really started to miss the wimmin in the group, my mother and sisters and i had only been in a homeless state for 4 hours, i asked the womon sitting next to me what time it was, she mumble the time and suggested that if time was important to me i needed to buy a watch. well that really was not a bad suggestion but it cause me to wonder if i looked homeless or something.

SO ANYWAY WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

So as i was telling, i did decided to go homeless,why? i really do not know i think it was an experience i wanted to have and i don't really know why i wanted to do it. I did not talk to A..... cause i did not want to hear anything about anyone else's experiences i wanted my own. So clothes on my back, shoes, socks, good pair of tennis shoes, 20dollars in ones, some dried fruit,water (the water is very important to me and i began to wonder if i could do something in order to get good water without having to buy it all the time), lets see what else i realize that i am scared and i think that is good. Should i take a pillow, blanket, sheet, raincoat, umbrella?, maybe i could pretend that i am really camping but i am not taking a tent,but what about a sleeping bag? Me alter said "I don't think so". So i think now that i am ready to leave, i want to call my mother and my sisters but they would only think that i have lost it, but i do not want them to worry about where i am. i shall leave them a note, maybe in an obvious place so that they can see it whenever they come this way, but if i do that the wimmin who come to THE HOUSE for LESBIAN HOME DINING -in-WIMMIN-ONLY-SPACE would also see the letter and that would defeat my whole purpose of going homeless. i never thought a seemingly simple act could be so mentally consuming. How to do this and remain sensitive to those who care for me became my concern.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN

Well I have been to grandmothers house and back again and what a journey. I went to become homeless I did it I walked away without telling anyone where I was going and I left the house. I am not very brave so I did take with me 20 dollars all in 1 dollar bills cause I remembered one time when I was a little girl my grandmother told me that when you travel with a lot of money you should break it down into small size, I had thought about changing it all into change but that thought not only became noisy but the idea became heavy just thinking about all that change. Me alter showed up and asked if she could go with me, how could I not say yes, I have never been able to get rid of her so I wondered if she was making an attempt to help me stay calm, although I feel calm I think. So anyway 20dollars, the clothing on my back and I made sure I had a lotta clothing on my back, a solid pair of tennis shoes, 3 pairs of socks, 2hats, (one on my head), I had thought about a book to read but change my mind after me alter said "weights weights, weights) I got it, I started thinking about a toothbrush and drawers (underwear) and the craziest thought came to me I asked myself do homeless people wear underwear? I definitely did not want to stand out although I don't really know if anyone will be looking at my underwear. I thought of a lotta of stuff to carry but that did not feel homeless. There is so much to write about I have to do this in stages.