WELL WELL. WELL?

Am I well am I falling into a well is all well? So much has happened and I thought not writing about it would do me well. Well it has not done be badly, but not so well either. Several things have happened to me with me about me since the last time I wrote. One thing is that I asked the wimmin of the group if I could divorce myself from them for about a month or two just to get my thoughts together about everything I was involved in. At first many of the wimmin were hostile toward me because I asked to be divorced. Some of the reactions I expected others were a total surprise. D.... the womon who said she was addicted to meat, asked me if I wanted a divorce because of her? In my moment of total self-involvement I asked her who did she think she was in my life, that I would want a divorce because of her, I had no intentions of hurting her I was simply thinking of myself, I realized how cruel I sounded and made an attempt to soften my words by saying, it is not because of any one in the group it is a decision I have made so as to see if I could become less paranoid and more accepting and I need time to be alone to think some things out. G..... asked me if I still wanted to live in THE HOUSE and if so would the group still be able to meet there? I answered yes to wanting to continue to live in THE HOUSE and yes to the group continuing to met there. Another womon asked how long was the divorce for and was it permanent. I answered the divorce had to be at least for a week, and I would not know if it was a permanent move until then. Another womon asked me who did I think I was that I could just like that decided to divorce the group and then at another time decide to want a union again? I answered that I did not remember giving up any personal freedom to anyone when I joined the group, and that any member could come and go as they pleased and that that had happened in the past, so to make a big deal out of my decision, I thought was an attempt at guilt tripping. Another womon asked who was going to do the cooking? I responded with I did not know that I had been hired as the cook, but if they wanted to hire me I would give it some consideration. Another womon said she thought I was positioning myself to be hired by the group as a cook and she said she thought that I was being manipulative. I almost said to her go f... yourself, but me alter caught me tongue and pushed it back into me mouth. So I said well what-ever cook for yourselves. Another wanted to know where would I be when the meeting took place at THE HOUSE, I answered o I don't know it depends on my mood and what else is happening. G..... the womon who owns THE HOUSE said that any one who wanted to leave for whatever reason had a right to and could do so without explanation. She also said that THE HOUSE was to be used for the group meetings, but that in fairness to me since i lived there, the group would let me know ahead of time about the meetings and that the kitchen had to be available at that time for food preparation. Another womon wanted to know what would happen to the food that was already there waiting for preparation and who would prepare it. All the wimmin in the group agreed that since the food was purchased by the group it was group food, that was fine with me. G..... asked me if I did the cooking would I charge them, how much and would the food still be provided by them. I answered that food purchase by the group of course is group food, should I do the cooking I would not charge anything as long as it was OK for me to eat from the food. She said she thought it was only fair to take a vote among the wimmin on the subjects and also make a decision about the directions the group would be taking in terms of who would be members and what kind of food would be offered by and to the group. I said to myself o no not this one again I know this is going to be about men meat and money. She also said to me since I wanted a divorce from the group I had no right to vote on these subjects. I thought to myself well at least she did not say they were not having plant based foods yet. She asked me when did I want the divorce to start I answered as of now. She said so be it and asked me to leave the group. Well I had not planned to leave before the meeting was over and I said so but she and the other wimmin asked that I leave. I told them that the food was ready and that they could serve themselves, they agreed and I left and went outside to be with S.... around the fire. I went outside and true to form Sally was sitting at the pit and putting the fire wood in the pit to start a fire. She looked at me and said so you are out right? I asked her what was she talking about and all she did was shake her head and smile. She got the fire started, I started smoking an herb, she did not say another word to me till 20 minuets later when I asked her what is real? She looked at me and said what is real what? I knew that there was no more for me to say. And out of nowhere me alter showed up and said WELL SISTER GIRL YOU ARE A REAL TICKET. The fire was awesome. And the wimmin were still meeting inside, for some reason I really want to know what is going on in there, but I am not going back in. Then G..... called for me. Sally said are you really going back in there now? Me alter said so now wada you do? I sat as though I had not heard any of them.