I'VE GOT S...Y ON MY MIND

You know this womon S...y is really creeping into my brains big time, why would such a womon have such an impact on me I really can not figure out. This morning when I woke up I looked outside and she was building a fire ring, she had found the shovel and had dug up some old coral rocks that she said would make a perfect round to the ring and that the rocks would keep it hotter than commercial stones, I asked her what did she think the fire rules of the hood were and answered I guess you'll find out when you make a fire. She looked as though she was digging to China, the hole was already a good two feet deep and at least a foot wide, she had stacked coral rocks all around it and on the inside the bottom was lined with coral rock, she had a wall about 1/2 foot high and had packed dirt around the wall, inside she had put smaller stones on top of the coral rocks, it was really beautiful. I asked her when would it be ready for a fire she replied she is ready now, we just need some wood, and I think I know where I can get some. She asked if she could use an old wheelbarrow I had and that she would go and get the wood latter in the day,no problem. And latter on in the day did she ever come back with a stack of wood in the wheelbarrow cut and dried, I asked her where did you find such wood, she smiled and said that is one of my homeless secrets, she stacked the pit and asked if I would want her to have a fire for the wimmin when they came next week for the action/event, I can not believe how clever this womon is. I said definitely yes.

WHO IS SALLY ANYWAY?

I woke up this morning thinking about my friend, my homeless friend S...y, who now lives in the backyard of THE HOUSE. I looked out the back window up into the trees to see if she was up there, she was. She was sitting on her platform smoking an herb, I always thought she was smoking a cig, until she told me she did not do tobacco. She also told me that she had been a vegetarian since her teenage years but became an animal eater when she went back to being homeless. I found that to be very strange since I thought acquiring animals to eat would be difficult if one is homeless. She assured me that was not so. She said that a lot of people when they were being "generous,compassionate or kind" would bring her animal based food. She also said at first she would refuse it and they would become so angry and mean toward that she decided to stop refusing and gradually began to eat it, she said at first she did become very ill from eating it but her body finally got adjusted to the poison, she said the thing that really came home to her is how much our bodies will adapt and adjust to almost any thing. She called that the beauty of life, not just human life but life. She said as she live homeless for a longer period of time she learned how to take the animal meals she was given and exchange them for other things that she needed with other homeless. I asked how was she able to make money, she said money was not the most important thing when one is homeless, because many gave money to really appease their conscience, and money was easy to get. She also said getting work was really not that easy, because the temp jobs were usually in exchange for something, and were menial almost all the time, not only that most folks did not want the homeless ones around for long because they felt they would be eventually ripped off. She added that this attitude was always a strange one to her, cause after all who is really getting ripped off? I was curious about something, i remembered that one time I had gone to see her under the overpass, and she was giving a cig to another homeless womon. I asked her if you don't smoke cigs, why were you giving one to that womon that time? Her response, I make it my business to garner a pack of cigs, I use them as trade offs. Do you smoke cigs she asked, no my answer, o she said because I have a brand new pack, I am still in the habit of using them as trade offs, they have become very expensive. I asked her if she thought smoking cigs was a healthy habit. Her response I don't smoke them. So what is there to say about that? I had to ask myself again really who is this womon?

RISE S...Y RISE S...Y

Wipe your weeping eyes S...y, wow, what a womon, I never ever even imagine that I could learn so much from a womon who was is homeless. What is homeless really ? I have started to examine the whole idea of homeless. I remember thinking at one time how could any womon live homeless on the streets under the expressways, next to the railroads, in the boxes, garbage cans, dumpsters, old cars, and be out there with all the other homeless mainly men,how could she take being smelly, ignored, spat on, abused not only by the homeless men, but those who think that they are so much better than any homeless anybody. What kind of defenses does she have to develop in order to deal with others? What does she think of other humans? Does she have any true belief in anybody or anything. What does she have to say about politics, religion,education,training, food, sex, drugs, rock or roll, who and what is she impressed by? What does money,transportation,health, illness, warmth,caring love mean to her? As I asked myself these questions I realized that I was in for a long and extensive journey with S...y. And you know something crazy I was really glad to have her living in the tree in the backyard at THE HOUSE, maybe I could get her to make a guest appearance at one of the ( LESBIAN HOME DINING) actions. Here I am thinking all of this and I have not mentioned to the other wimmin that she is living here in the backyard in a tree,wow, I know some of the wimmin are gonna love me for this, but this is NOT their HOUSE. There I said it. THIS IS MY HOUSE.

WHO IS ANYONE?

Well I must say I have learned a lot since S...y has been staying at THE HOUSE. I have learned things that I never thought I was capable of, I actually climbed a tree the first time since I was a kid, I kept telling S...y that I could not do it, and she kept saying as long as you give yourself that message you are correct you can not. Why not give yourself another message and she what happens, how bout I know I can, I know I can. When she said that to me and I did it, it reminded me of my Mother's words she would always say to me "child I CAN'T died before you were born". I think what surprised me most was here is this womon that I had been feeling sorry for cause she was homeless teaching me acts of strength. I started asking myself who is this womon really who is she? Now I want to talk more to her, I want to be with her more, but she is still a very elusive one, and I do not want to distance her from me nor me from her. Wow what an experience. I should say what a set of experiences.

AM I O.K.? WHO IS O.K.?

S...y said that she felt blessed. o.k. and I am not sure what I feel. Have I acted wisely by leaving her stay here in the back yard? Should I have laid down more definite do's and dont's ? She seemed rather uninhibited can I handle this? These are the thoughts I was having in my head when I woke up this morning. Then I got up and looked out the back window to see if I could see her or rather what she had used as a tent. I saw nothing nor no one. I really got curious and went up to the window and really stared out. I still didn't see any thing nor one. Umm I thought where the hell did she go I don't see any impression of anyone having been in the backyard all night, I wondered if she decided to leave and not stay here last night, I know I didn't say anything to offend her or did I? Well I thought by the time I really wake up,brush teeth etc.,I will see what really is. An hour later I still had not heard nor seen any sign of life in the backyard and I decided to go out back. No one was there, no S...y, no tent, no nada. I really became concerned and had started back into the house when I heard a noise that caused me turn back and there was S...y popping down out of one of the Live Oak trees talking bout what a wonderful night she had up in the tree where she could smell, see, and hear everyone and everything during the night, and how much she loved it up there pointing upward into the huge tree. I know my mouth was dropped opened, cause when I looked up there in the tree she had a board and what looked liked a light blanket or sheet. I asked her how did she get up there and she showed my how, she actually climbed. When she came back down she said to me one night you really need to come up there and sleep I think you would love it. I didn't say a word I just looked at her, and she was beaming. I invited her in for a cup of tea. She declined and invited me out in the yard for some water and an herb. I took her up on it. I wanted to ask her a lotta questions but I really didn't know where to start and I did not want to offend her. I realized that I was becoming afraid of myself when I was around her. I could easily see myself going wild. WILD WILD what an interesting idea, going wild, I wonder what and how does that really happy and does it really happen,my mind just went to Gertrude S. if an attack could surprise would it?

THE RE ARRIVAL

Sa..y and I went in THE HOUSE where she admired everything she saw, she suggested that we create two rooms out of the living room since she was so large, she thought the idea of turning one of the two bedrooms into a meeting room,office and pantry, was an excellent idea and gave that room the name THE MOP, wild name I said yes meeting room,office and pantry, good name. I invited her for tea I had some green tea that I liked and thought that she would also,she refused and told me that she would prefer a Duchess Du Bois I asked her what was that and she told me that was her favorite beer, I had never heard of it and told her so and offered her a Bud which she avidly refused,stating that she would never let that one touch her lips. I asked her if the next time she got a Duchess Du Bois could I have a sip?she agreed. So I had a cup of tea she had a glass of water,we sat and talked for a bit, then she got up said I am tired and I'm going to bed,said goodnight and went out the back door. I was curious where and in what is she going to sleep, but by now i realized that I had put my foot in my mouth enough times with her to ask no questions, I closed the door and got ready for bed, it has been a long long day and I need time to dream.