HI NEW FRIEND

Gonna go visit my new woman-friend under I-95 underpass, take her a meal, talk with her a bit, I've got seven dollars i wanna give her, let her know that i will be gone for a little bit and will see her when i get back, and then i outta here for a bit, i will see if i can not think for the next l5 to 20 days,see if that is a possibility, alter says it is not possible but what does she know about my capabilities? i give her a run for it on this one. bye I'm gone

SO NOW WHATTA I DO?

Well i must say us lesbians/wimmin never ceased to amaze i can understand now why sometimes we are called or we call ourselves amazing amazons. All the wonderful food that they left is enough for me to make several meals, i wonder if it is time for us to increase our numbers, o no not numbers again. Nope i cant take that right now no more numbers no more. But on the food i could ask if we can get together twice a week since we have so much food, or i could prepare something for my neighbor women or i could take some to my new friend under the l-95 underpass diner, or i could keep it for myself, what to do what is right to do i just don't know right now to much to soon. First a possible new place to move then a lotta of food and also the money is increasing i think i need to show how that is being used also. So now what i really realize how much i have grown to like the wimmin well all the people in this neighborhood, i can now understand why the young ones call this the hood. I think of a hood and the purpose of a hood to cover, to protect,to shield, warmth, wow i never thought moving from one place to another could bring on such strong feelings, but this is like moving from a protected place to one that i am not sure of. Maybe i am as my mother would say straining at a gnat and losing a camel. So what do gnats and camels have to do with this? O me alter is coming fore i can feel her, i think i have found a way to lower her voice in my ear. Simple i start singing in my pretend a sing voice the one my sister said would wake up the dead, see if that works. Well I'm suppose to go see the house with the other wimmin, i don't really want to go cause i really don't want to hear anything negative about the house, my alter said to me i think what it is really is that you have decided that you want the house and you don't want to hear any reasons about why it might not be such a good idea. Or is it that you have not given thought or don't want to give thought to the possibility that G...... is gently pulling you into her corner, i resent that you make me sound as though i have allowed myself to be taken in when you say such things, me alter said well if it is not so no problem eh? Well i said to myself i wonder if i should just call the and make up an excuse as to why i wont be there to see the little house with them, and then i heard me alter say liar liar pants on fire. Well i asked myself what is my hesitation with going with the other wimmin about really? I must admit i don't want to hear anything negative about the little house, alter says so maybe you wont , but whats with not hearing anything? I did not say i didn't want to hear anything i do want to hear everything,so OK then go and listen. So anyway about the food? I know the perfect meal i will make for the next (LESBIAN HOME DINING)action/event now about the money. I find if i start to sing its more difficult to think so now i sing, better yet i think i will put barb ester on the Cd player and sing along loudly, loud, louder, yes that's good.

HUH PLANT BASED WHAT?

Well i got into talking so much about the eggs and mozzarella cheese at the last (LHD) event/action i failed to talk about the womon there who said i still need to talk about my addiction to meat and it seems to me everyone here wants to avoid talking about that, is it more comfortable talking about something else she asked. One of the other wimmin said she thought now was a very good time to talk about addictions since we were talking about eggs and the mozzarella cheese anyway. The womon who identified herself as having a meat addiction ask a very intense question, her question, does anyone else here feel as thoughthey have a meat addiction? One womon said i think i can stop eating meat if i really wanted to forever but i don't really want to, she went on to say that she felt to call a love for meat an addiction was not in her reality because meat is here for us to eat, and calling a love for it an addiction was the same to her as was calling her love for money an addiction and her love for man and his kind an addiction. She also said that she thought we as wimmin took on the illness of victims when we identify something or someone we loved as addictive. That is was high time we looked at what we did in a positive lights rather than negative ones, i did not quite understand what she meant but i hesitated to respond because it seemed to me that i am always the one who is questioning, questioning, so i on this one kept my mouth closed. Remember G...... she had something very interesting to say she said she had been raised as a vegetarian, she came from a family who tied vegetarianism into their religious practices and her family was very strict about it, she said when she married a man he also was vegetarian for religious reasons and she felt this was at the bottom of their divorce,because he no longer wanted to be vegetarian and she did, she had refused to cook animals for him and that he would not eat non vegetarian foods in public but when they were home he insisted that she prepare meat for him, this caused her to see him as a lying hypocrite and when she told him this his anger about it was the cause of many arguments so much to the point that they stop relating to each other and a divorce was the only way that she could keep her wits about herself operating. She also said after her divorce she toyed with the idea of not being vegetarian but had an extreme amount of difficulty releasing herself from the guilt about eating animal parts. One of the wimmin asked her if she was still a vegetarian? she said i stop being a vegetarian for five years, i have now been a vegetarian for the past seven. Everybody wanted to ask her questions about her experiences she was quite gracious and directed the conversation back to the womon who wanted to talk about her meat addiction. I must admit everyone did seem a bit uncomfortable listening to the womon who talked about her addiction. I asked her if she wanted to become a vegetarian, she responded that she really did not know but did not think so, however she said i do enjoy so much coming here to the (LHD) actions/events cause i give myself a chance to see how me and the as y'all call it plant based foods do together. I thought to myself now there is a helluva womon wow she is damn honest, and i like that. I told her that i thought she was a helluva womon for being so candid and honest. I also told her not to be so hard on herself cause coming here was a tremendous step and i also told her what i think on becoming, becoming anyone,and on being, being who you feel you really are,she didn't say anything she smiled. Another womon said she thought addictions were very real and needed to be dealt with as a reality, and the best way she said to deal with addictions is to get help, i asked here isn't that what this womon is asking for help in dealing? I was not quite ready for her reply which was, yes but we are not authorities on the subject of addictions and perhaps we need to develop a list of experts who could come to the meetings and help us with such things as addictions. I asked her who is better acquainted with my addictions than myself and where would we get these ex perts who could tell us how to deal with our concerns who are more knowledgeable on us than we are? The womon who identified her addiction as a meat one said i have been to all the ex perts that i am going to i would really rather stay here and deal with this on the level i have chosen with other wimmin, wow was i glad to hear her say that. I asked her do you have a meat addiction or would/could you call it a food addiction? She said she had never thought of it in those terms. She also said i just know that i really love meat, she also said i have heard some of you say that the 3M's are the divide and that they come together as a divide, are you saying that if i love and have to have meat i love and have to have men? and love and have to have money? One womon i thought was very harsh in her response she said without a doubt. The other womon said that one i will have to think about and through, another womon said i don't know if that is so cause i dont have a meat addiction and i do love my husband and i sure as hell don't hate money, and i said but look you placed them all together as a love, she said so? Well the time is getting late i said and besides i was getting very tired and i noted so were the others,so i asked if we could call it stops for the evening everyone agreed except one womon who said i really think that we should continue until we can come to some agreement and i said agreement on what her response on if there is truth in that the 3M's all come together. I said i am tired she said i don't think the group ends simply because you are tired, i said you are absolutely right, so, why don't you all carry on and when you are finished please be sure that all the lights are out and the stove is also i am going to bed and with that i got up went to the bathroom and went to bed i did not hear them when they left. The next morning i got up and saw that they had cleaned up everything,left me a note that they would like to meet at my apartment in an unsafe part of town next week, they also left the following 5lbs organic brown rice, 5lbs organic pasta, 5lbs organic sweet potatoes, 5 organic Spanish onions, 6bunches of organically grown for some womon's yard of spinach,7lbs of organic tofu, a 3lb box of organic quinoa, 2bags of corn tortilla chips, 1box or soy milk and 110 dollars. Wow what an evening. I looked at all they had left and heard myself say so where is the homemade mozzarella?

SO THESE ARE PLANT BASED?

Well the (LESBIAN HOME DINING)event/action went really strangely i enjoyed some of it some of it was eh to me, it was good being with the different wimmin old and new ones. I am always delighted in watching the faces of the new wimmin who for many of them are in wimmin-only-space for the first time, i often wish i could get inside of their heads to hear them thinking. First of all the ambiance was great and i felt great. The food was one of the main topics everyone thought it was superb and every single womon except the new ones wanted to know if i thought the eggs and mozzarella were plant based foods. At first i felt very defensive about having to talk about eggs and mozzarella being there,but the conversation i had had with me alter really helped me through. The womon who asked me the most questions about the eggs and mozzarella said she too was having a very difficult time moving away form eggs and cheese in her diet and one of the things that helped her was egg replacer and nutritional yeast, she did say sometimes these worked for her and when they did not she found herself eating eggs, she also said that her need for eggs dropped when she ate more beans, i thought to myself now that's a real farter. Another womon said she wanted to know how i had rationalized putting eggs and mozzarella cheese out to be eaten by them when we had all agreed on plant based foods being served. I said well those foods were left by wimmin from the last event/action, she said so? If someone had bought chickens would i have served them, i replied i did not think any one would bring chickens and of course i would not have served them. And again she asked what made me served the eggs and mozzarella? I told her that after a lotta of thought i decided to serve them and yes i realized they were not plant based, and yes i remembered that we all had agreed to plant based food. I also said i guess i had made a mistake by serving them but it was a toss up between me eating it in private and not saying anything or serving them and seeing what would happen and eating it with others. The womon said so is that your idea of eating plant based foods it has to done with others but non plant based foods are to be eaten in private. I said no. Then i really did it i said no one had to eat it, and i asked what would she have done. No one said anything when the womon left the food there, so why not why didn't someone object to her bring the food there in the first place and i reminded them no one said anything then. One womon said she would have put it her frig and eaten it by herself since the agreement was on food served at the actions/events and she felt she could and would eat anything she damn well pleased outside of the . Another womon said she thought we were making mountains out of molehills, another said she did not understand how eating eggs and cheese harmed anyone, another said it seemed to her if we all agreed on something in and for the group we should adhere to it, another said she thought that if it was ok to have eggs and cheese then what was wrong with paying a fixed price for the food and allowing some men in the group ? One woman said ok lets start again and lets see if we can get some clarity. So she suggested we vote on it? I ask can we agree on it and forget the voting,another womon wanted to know what was wrong with voting and i said i did not say anything was wrong with voting i just want to know if we could agree on it, the group verbally voted to vote on it. I did not vote i agreed on it. The"it" this wimmin-only-space? yes, plant based foods? yes, money exchange left up to each womon?,yes. Wow and that was on eggs and mozzarella. O were they eaten at the action/event? Yes.

YEA? SO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EGGS AND MOZZARELLA?

So anyway i put out a lovely display of food for the (LESBIAN HOME DINING)event/action,wow was she ever impressive.I think i strutted around like a peacock full feathered tail ashow, and in the midst of my peacockish strut a womon said o wow non plant based food is this really for real? In the house of the rising sun,there is an animal based food upon the table o what goddess should we ask for forgiveness, i thought she was shitting me but she carried on like this until every womon was there on and on and on really ad throwism, i really want to say to her shut the f.... up. she kept it until she hada chorus of wimmins voices repeating the same thing

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EGGS AND MOZZARELLA?

So i told meself when i was preparingthe food for the next (LHD) action/event. But what about the eggs and mozzarella cheese left by the womon from last time? I asked myself now what do i do as i said i love eggs and especially from home grown chickens and how prey tell how can i give up the home-made mozzarella? What shall i do these are not plant based foods. So i talked to two beings me alter and one of my best friends my lover. Here is what each of them had to say. Me alter said OK if indeed you sincerely believe you need to eat only plant based foods how do you justify your eating of eggs and mozzarella cheese even if they both came from a home made source? Believe it or not here is what i said. Well on eggs they are basically plant based consider the chicken eats greens,beatles, worms, bugs, grubs, grain and she turns that into an egg and it does not kill her when she has an egg and i eat it. Me alter said no it does not kill her but when you eat an egg you are killing future chickens. And that perhaps i was more of a killer than those who did not eat the egg, but ate the full grown chicken who probably had given up all her eggs for me to eat, my thoughts went back to my sister who will not eat an egg (cause she says that when you eat an egg you really are eating a chickens monthly) but she will eat the chicken. Me alter asked me if i could feel comfort thinking about who i was killing in order to eat, i asked her if was possible to eat whatever i wanted and not give thought to who died, she asked me can you? You know I've gotta admit at this point i wondered to myself is it possible to get rid of an alter and how do you do it? Me alter said i know what you're thinking but betcha you cant do it. Now all i wanted to do is eat the eggs and the mozzarella, but OK alter give it to me what about the mozzarella? i am not killing anyone by eating it and me alter said so is it plant based food? I answered the cow is a vegetarian(and at this point me alter said unless man steps in and feed them another animal, then you get mad cows), she also said to me if eating another animal causes a cow to go mad what do you think you as an animal eating her could do to you? But i am not eating the cow i am eating the cheese made from her milk and in this case its home made cheese. Me alter said so is it a plant based food? Look i said to my alter all i wanna do is eat the eggs and cheese cut me some slack will you? Slack? she said hey they are your principles. I wondered could i eat the eggs and cheese when no one else is around and no one would know the difference, me alter said you will and then you will be a liar liar pants on fire. She said so what will you tell the other wimmin who know that you got the eggs and mozzarella at the last (LHD)action/event? Then to top it off she said and you will know that to thine own self you can't be true.Me alter could tell i was pissed-off, cause i said OK enough of this already, she said so what are you going to do? So what i did is i boiled all the eggs, and while they were boiling i would look at them in the pot jumping around and i thought about the cooking of live shrimps,lobsters,crabs,eels,conchs, and all the other live ones who get boiled alive, i thought to myself am i really killing the future chickens of what the world? America? What? What? So i covered the pot when they were boiled and walked away from the stove thinking to myself so how come i like eggs so much is this the ghosts of all the animals i had eaten in my life coming back to haunt me and i haven't even gotten to the cheese. On the mozzarella cheese i think i will make a caprisse salad along with the boiled eggs to serve. And what did my lover say to me about all of this ? Two simple words YOU DECIDE. Well here i am face to face with me, on one hand eggs and mozzarella call me on the other hand i am scared to decide. So this one i will talk about at the (LHD)action/event. Another voice inside my head screams i like eggs i like eggs i like mozzarella i like mozzarella.

AN EVENT/ACTION

Well i am feeling a bit a great bit sounder and better. I am going to do some divination on my dreams soon. Today my concerns are with calling the wimmin for the next (LESBIAN HOMEDINING) action/event. There are 18 wimmin i will call i will not invite any new wimmin myself if the other wimmin are going to do that i will remind them of the space i live in and if they are alright with more than 19 of us in the space I'm OK with it. So i made the phone calls 2 of the wimmin can not make it but both of them said they had invited 2 other wimmin,the others said they would be there but they were not inviting anyone else, so we will still be 19 wimmin including myself. I am regaining excitement about the new (LHD) action/event, and i think i know what i will prepare, i know now that i don't have to prepare everything because at every event wimmin bring something without me having to ask. From the last event i have navy beans i will make a big pot of beans,with steamed mustard greens,mashed white potatoes,and a nutritional yeast cheese sauce to go over the mash potatoes, and seitan Mongolian style, lemonade, and i got some Bing cherries from the store that will be dessert. I will do a centerpiece from the apartment yard and the music i will play will be Rosanna's Luna's rotas, and Ana belen viva l'italia, i am looking forward to this event/action and i have promised my alter that i would be hospitable, i promised my self the same thing. And i made the caprisse salad and will put out the boiled eggs and see what happens. And now to wait.

WHAT? What?

Well i got a lotta sleep and wow did i ever dream a lot, in one of my dreams i was with my friend under the 1-95 underpass and we were talking about the good times we had had together over the years and before she decided to become homeless. I realized in my waking moments that i was going over the good and the bad times we had had, i remember on one occasion we had be out on the lezzie town checking out all the bar where we lezzies hung out at that time i was still a very young lez the age of the ones who are called dykelings today, and we were walking home because she said she was to drunk to drive and thought that i was to inexperienced at driving,so we started to walk, i had not realized we had such a just a long way to walk until we had been walking for about an hour and a half,and i said to her if i had known it was going to take this long i would have thought of something better, she started laughing and laughing and would not stop, and before i know it i was laughing also, i finally asked so whats so funnie, and she said to me just imagine if our mothers had known it was going to take that long to bring us here, would they have though of something better and if so who would we be? Then she stopped laughing and said to me wow have i got to pee. I said well i guess you will have to hold it till we get to a bathroom somewhere, she started to laugh and this time i felt she was laughing at me she wasn't though cause she said wow there is really so much in life for all of us to learn and if you lived a thousand years you still couldn't learn it all, and at that she squatted behind an approaching tree leaned up against it pulled down her pants and draws and started to pee i looked at her with my mouth open, she said what haven't you ever seen a dykeapissin, i started to laugh and she said all trees need water to help in their growth and that is what i am doing i am helping in the growth of trees, just remember next time you see a tree some womon or lezzie has watered her to help in the growth process and always remember to do your part. Do not allow them to take your water away or convince to give it up unaware of the value. I remembered saying to myself then is she crazy or what? However i have and still am a dykeapissin when i see i tree now i find i always wanna pee,so what is that about? Now i must say i woke up smiling just dreaming about her and me. A huge amount of sadness has left, i think of her and i smile and i know it will always be that way. Now what does that have to do with (LESBIAN HOME DINING?)

STILL THE EVENT?

Well i must say i did pay a bit of attention here tonight, the food was o.k. the ambiance was good the music fine the centerpiece i forgot to do one and one of the wimmin mentioned it, i suggested that next time they could bring whatever they wanted as a centerpiece. I really realized i was not the best company tonight, the wimmin were very kind to me but i honestly must say i really did not deserve there kindness, i was a real s... all evening. We discuss where the next event would be i asked if someone else would like to have the event at their place and got the comment from one of the wimmin "and have to listen to you again about what kind of food" my comment to this was yep. The 18wimmin left 1 loaf of organic bread, 2cups of nutritional yeast, 3 bunches of organically grown mustard greens from her garden, 5 organically grown white potatoes, 3 dozen eggs from their chickens, 2lbs of home made mozzarella cheese(the womon who gave the cheese ask if this was acceptable since cheese was not plant based?) and the same question came up about the eggs. O now what do i do i love eggs and mozzarella cheese and neither is plant based. O chickens, O cows what now brown ones? Where does the truth end and the lie begin? 4boxes of organically grown pastas, 2lbs of organically grown navy beans, 3lbs of vital wheat gluten organically grown for making seitan and 100.dollars. I asked myself can i continue can i keep this up and for what am i doing this? Sleep and dreams are very important in helping to resolve many things. I need sleep. The decision is to meet here at my apartment in an unsafe part of town next time.

THE ACTION/EVENT

Well the event seemed to me uneventful perhaps its because i am still thinking about my friend who lived under the 1-95 overpass and the friend i think in made in the other womon who now lives there. I wanted to talk about her and my other friend at the event however i could feel the urgency of the other wimmin at the action/event to discuss whatever it was that they wanted to discuss so i did not talk about them, instead i prepared a meal of miso soup with Chinese dumplings, some basmati rice, and steamed spinach, i was not really into the evening and i guess everyone could feel that. One womon wanted to rehash the other stuff that was going on ad nauseum but i would not talk about it. Another womon who said she was not a lesbian said she was beginning to have sexual feelings for another womon in the group that she was unwilling to identify and that she was feeling a lot of shame and guilt about it, and that she wanted to talk to her husband about it but wanted some feed back from the group before she did. I asked her if they were just sexual feelings or did she see herself dating this womon ? She answered she did not really know. Another womon told her that sexual feelings for other wimmin were not really an indication that she was or was becoming a lesbian, and the feelings could simply be fantasy. I asked if she had said she had sexual feeling for a man would that have been an indication that she was or was becoming a straight woman or that her feelings could simply be fantasy? Another womon said she thought that i had a knack for making things appear more difficult than they really were. I said i thought she had a knack for making things appear more simplistic than they really were. I could feel the air getting warm and i said but what does this have to do with the womon and who she has the hots for. None of the wimmin voiced approval at my choice of words "hots for" as a matter of fact one of the wimmin told me she thought me to be very insensitive. I thought maybe they are all on target about me tonight. My mind was still on my friend from the 1-95 overpass diner. Well the talk went on about wimmins sexual feelings for other wimmin and i must say i was completely and unabashedly uninterested.

THE 1-95 UNDERPASS DINER WOW

Well i have decided to go see my womon friend who has chosen to be homeless and lives under the 1-95 overpass to bring her something to eat some shoes and to get from her some invaluable conversation. I made her some bar b Que seitan and baked sweet potatoes, collard greens with raw onions and tomatoes her favorite foods that i prepare. As i was preparing the food i asked myself now are you going to a wimmin-only space? I laughed and heard myself say don't be silly this is under the 1-95 overpass how could it be wimmin-only space? Then i thought of what i had said about the (LHD) event/action at the other womons house wow. So i walked up to 1-95 with the shoes and food for my friend, when i got there a different womon was housed in the spot that she usually kept her belongings, i asked the womon where was my friend she told me that she had died 3 days ago and that the county had come and removed her body. I cannot even begin to tell how i felt, i had not seen her in bout 2 months or talked to her, did not know she was ill, i wondered why she had not been in touch with me. I sat with the woman who was there and offered her the food i had and the shoes, she took them and thank me i told her that the food was vegetarian she did not seem to particular but when i told her that i really had the food for my friend who was not there she seemed more opened to eat and talk to me, i asked here where did they take her body and she told me that the county takes people like herself to the county morgue and held them there until either someone claimed the body or till it was time to dump the body in the county graves. I am going to see if i can claim her body and i will have her cremated and scatter her ashes under the 1-95 overpass. I think i made another friend in this womon, i asked her if it would be o.k. to come and see her again,yes she said. She also told me that the food was very good, and wanted to know if i was a cook, i wanted to tell her about the (LHD)action/event but i was so shaken and i did not feel open enough with her. I said bye and that i would see her again in about 2weeks. The regrets about not seeing my friend were still very strong with me when i got home, it was the first time in almost 2 years that i remembered crying.

WHO? WHAT FOOD?

I really didn't think hard about how political food is until i became really involved with wimmin with food, not only the eating of it but also the growing, acquisition of the seeds to grow it, accessing food grown by others, preparing it for consumption, consuming it and acting out from the consumption of it, who gets what, who does not, which is considered womon's food, who to share it with and how, and these are only a few political aspects of food that i am becoming acquainted with. Well the (LESBIAN HOME DINING) event/action is again at my apartment located in an unsafe area. My alter asked me. why do i always speak of my apartment being in an unsafe area? I told her because when i first got involved in a (LHD) event/action and offered my apartment some of the wimmin told me they did not feel safe in the area where my apartment was located. My response at that time was this, i asked are you a womon? Yes was the answer, i said if you live anywhere where there are men it is wise to not feel safe, and to remain aware at all times. So this is my way of reminding wimmin to constantly remain aware. Well there are 3 more events at my unsafe apartment until we will decide where the next ones will take place. I am now ready again to think food preparation. So what will i prepare, i have enough food this time that i don't think i have to go pan yard. I will make Corny cornbread from some of the corn left from before, a big pot of steamed collard greens, macaroni in a sun dried tomato sauce, drink coconut milk, dessert tangelos sprinkled with raw sugar. Music will be barb ester's More Of It. Centerpiece i picked some firecrackers from the yard. I must remember to call the 18 wimmin that was the number from last time i will not invite new wimmin this time,however if other wimmin do so be it. I get so excited everytime there is an event/action of the (LHD) kind. So now make the calls. I called all the wimmin, i was not quite ready for some of the responses i got, however 13wimmin said they would be here. 5 of the wimmin said they had invited another womon so that brings the total back to 18. You know what my alter said to me? She said are numbers really important? Would i still be happy if only one other womon other than myself showed up? How would i feel if no wimmin showed up? What would i do with the food prepared? When i thought about all of this i thought of my friend the womon who is homeless who lives under I-95 not far from where i live. I thought to myself when is the last time i saw her when is the last time i took food to her and sat and had conversation with her? How is she? What clothing does she need? I became very uncomfortable with myself, how dare i sit and wonder about the comforts of those who have comforts and amid all of that worry about who the food would go to. I must go see my friend who lives in the I-95 condo under the overpass.

WHO ? WHO IS CALLING?

The womon from the last (LHD) event/action at her house called me to talk about what happened at the event and as she said to talk to me in general about what i had to say about not coming to her house and why. I thought to myself wow that is really womynly of her. She asked if she could come over some time today to sit and talk i said yes, so now i am waiting to see what happens. Me alter is jumping around like she has sat on an icepick, gotta calm her down before the day is done.

THE KITCHEN REVOLUTION

O.K. lets make some food, what shall it be how about some good ol cornbread,we call this perfect cornbread, it can be made totally vegan or with eggs,where the recipe calls for eggs use egg re placer, where it calls for milk use soy milk plain o.k.? You will need. 1 cup flour,6Tablespoons raw sugar or honey, 4teaspoons baking powder, 3/4teaspoon salt, sift all this together, then stir in 1 cup of cornmeal. Add to dry ingredients and stir just until smooth, 2eggs(or egg re placer),1cup milk(soy or other),1/4 cup canola oil. OK that's it, fry patties in oiled frying pan,m turning when brown, or bake in oven at 425o to brown. Remember too much stirring of the batter can result in poor texture. And any milk that has soured in the fridge is excellent to use. We like cornbread served with sour milk and honey, or rather i should say i my honie likes it just by itself. Since the wimmin left corn i think i will see if i can make corny corn bread for the next (LHD) action/event.

WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH?

In a society where a womon is taught to be less than she is capable of becoming the time comes when revolution is truly inevitable. Even the most tamed has some thoughts of revolting. No matter how colonized a people are there still comes a time for revolution, weather this time shows it self by materializing into action or weather it stays deep in the psych of one, the time for revolution eventually shows it self. Examples of this are most apparent in movements that take place in time,the slave revolt in America,the students revolt in Mexico and France,immigrants in America the one revolt that has not taken place on a physical level is the revolt of the lesbian/wimmin. I do believe however that the seeds for this revolt are so firmly planted now that an apparent revolution is very much in the making. I do believe that we lesbians know how to seem as though we are nowhere when in actuality we are really everywhere, we some how know how to cover our tracks and appear somewhere where we are not suppose to even be, i do believe we have many of us perfected the art of now you see me now you don't, this can be very disarming to those who seek others out in order to tame them. Now where did that come from? From an old old place where freedom is just another word for nothing else to lose.

WOW WHAT IS THIS?

Well i had a good time the other evening at the (LHD) action/event. I still am thinking of the food, the Mongolian style seitan was very very good i had never tasted seitan cooked that way before and i asked the womon for the recipe, she gave it to me and i am going to see if i can make seitan,that would be interesting for me. I had heard of basmati rice rice of India, however i had only tasted the texmati, the American version of basmati rice grown in Texas. I loved the mangos however i would make fruit creams from frozen mangos if i were the cook. The food was excellent the company of wimmin was more than i expected. In response to the womon who would like to have the next (LHD) action/event at her house i said to the group and to her,that i would like very much to come to an event at someone elses house as long as the company was wimmin only and the food was plant based, that i would not be willing to go somewhere where an (LHD) was not a (LHD), and if this was not possible i would not be attending. I also reminded the wimmin that when we started this affair we promised ourselves that we would be wimmin only and dedicated to the demise of the 3M's in this space, and if i wanted to be in the company of animal eating heteros i could do that at any time anywhere . Some of the wimmin expressed a variety of feelings toward me for what i said. One womon agreed with me 3 did not. One of the wimmin who disagreed with me said she felt that to not go to a lesbian's house because she lived with a man was to her discriminatory, i told her i agreed with her the discriminating seemed to be aimed at us lesbians who wanted to be with each other and other wimmin. Another womon said to me that we all had the right to live with whom-ever we wanted, i said to her i was not arguing the right to live with someone i was addressing myself to our original goals as a group and that these goals were very important to me, sitting around arguing about who lives with whom did not mean a rat's behind to me, and especially not arguing about who lives with a man or did not, was not the reason i came to a (LHD). I once again said i would not go to a (LHD) that was not a (LHD), and i would not go where the food would not be plant based, and i would not go where a man or men would be involved in a (LHD) event/action, and as far as discussion of this was concerned i had nothing more to say. I said nothing more on this subject the other wimmin continued to discuss and discuss some more, i said nothing until they were all finished and i asked OK so where will the next (LHD) action/event be? One womon said to me she thought i was being difficult because the event would not be at my apartment. I said please make a decision and let us be done with this. Another womon said let's take a vote. I said to myself wow is it this easy to sway us to not do what we all said was important to us? Is this really a vote ? And what are we voting on or for? I said to the group i would not be voting and i would leave the room while they voted, i did just that, and returned when they were finished. Another womon said to me that she thought i was allowing the 3M's to divide us. I said to myself is this worth all of this? and i simply looked at her and asked is the voting over and and asked whats up? The decision was to meet at this womon's apartment, providing she could have her he roommate leave for the event, and that some non-plant based foods would be OK specifically sea animals but there would be some plant based foods there also. I said to myself that did not take much for the 3M's to surface among us and i said this also to the group, one womon said she thought we did not need to be so hard nosed about this. I said to myself o f... The wimmin who agreed with me said they too would not be there and so the group divides.

THE AFTER-NIGHT OF THE EVENT

Wow, was quite an event last night a total of l8 wimmin showed up thanks to the womon who helped me everything turned out really great. Everyone loved the food and i felt quite ok with knowing we had prepared something that was agreeable with everyone. The womon who has a wheat allergy said she was quite pleased with the food that she ate. Another womon wanted to know when we could have a (LHD) action at her place,everyone agreed that whenever she wanted it would be fine, she asked if non-vegetarian or non-vegan food was acceptable and if it was OK to invite her roommate since he did live with her in the apartment, she said he knew that she was a lesbian so that it would not bother him if a bunch of us got together there. Wow i said to myself here we go, well she is a lesbian/womon,she is making an attempt to eat plant based,where she lives is here home and she is inviting us to a (LHD) action/event. What does she mean non-vegetarian, non-vegan food? If she is a lesbian why is she living with a he? Why should the food be non plant based? Why should we give a rat's behind about her he roommate approval of us meeting? and my final thought to this for the moment. I wont be there, but do i have the dyke-nerve to say so now and to say what i am thinking and feeling? I dunno, gotta think about this some more. Any way the l8 wimmin left the following as donations, 1 case of tangelos, 5 fresh green coconuts, 1/2 bushel corn, 3 bunches of collards, 2 boxes of organic macaroni, and a total of $90.dollars,some very good conversation and company, i really enjoyed myself and i think everyone else did also.

THE CALLS

I called 13 wimmin tonight to remind them of the (LHD) gathering on Friday night, all 13 wimmin said they were coming and 5 of them said they had invited one other womon, that would bring the total to 18,whew! i said OK but i dont know if i can really handle all of that by myself. I called one of the wimmin i feel close to and ask her if she would help me with the event she said yes and that she would be over 2 or 3 hours early to help put everything together. She came and with her she had wonderful ears of corn,so we made southern style creme corn with green beans and hijiki, grilled tofu, basmati rice,tomatoe fresh mozzerella, basil and olive oil salad with the dessert being sliced mango with tofu sour creme. Everything came out absolutely beauti-filled. We got greenry out of the yard for decorations and put Patty Griffin on for music, she suggested that we lower the lights a tad for admostphere, everything looked good to me,now to wait for the wimmin, i am excited, neverous and happy.

WHAT?

Tonight i make phone calls to 13wimmin about Friday night and the (LHD) dinner, i would like the 13 wimmin who came last time to come and i am not going to ask them to invite other wimmin, but if they do they do, i think 13wimmin might be enough for one night, maybe i will suggest we do this more often then one night a week but i don't know, if no one else want to have it in their house can i really do this here more than one night a week and can i really do all the work myself? Well here goes for the phone calls what is is.

EXPECTATIONS

Well every event here at this (LHD) event has been as far as i am concerned a success,now what is a success, a lotta wimmin have come, food has been good company excellent, ambiance superb. So that causes me to think is success measured in terms of numbers? Have to give that more thought, for now my excitment is in my expectations of the next event. What to do with the mango no fruit cremes did that last time do something different, green beans i know what i will do with them i will make kates green bean ceviche,Mexican style basmati rice with hijiki seaweed,for dessert i will do sliced mangos with tofu sour creme, i will make enough for 13 wimmin, and i will make my phone calls to the wimmin tonight i am very excited. But you know what? i have a small nagging feeling inside that i might need to bring my feet back to earth something is gnawing at me but i cant put my finger on it yet, shall see.