60 DAYS AND NOW THE LONG JOURNEY HOME OR HOMED?

i realized that it has been 60 days that i have chosen to be homeless and in these 60 days i have learned a lot about myself and others, some of what i have learned i will not examine until another time, some of what i have learned will be with me for another lifetime. one thing i have rediscovered about myself is my love for womon and being womon is and can be very intense at times, i am learning how to space my thoughts so what so as not to have them flood in on me when i feel most vulnerable, i have learned how to hold my thoughts to myself and sort through
them some before letting them flood out of my mouth , i have learned that i really do like and miss me alter when she is not there, she did not seem to have much conversation with me on the streets and i think that is because i was being rather than doing so much. i am still walking toward home or THE HOUSE and i think i will arrive around 1 a.m. tomorrow morning, i must think of what i need to say to the womon or wimmin who are at THE HOUSE, i thought about calling but that is not a good idea, i want to see their faces when i talk to them, i want to feel or make an attempt to feel as they feel and i want to assure myself that my thoughts and experiences are as vivid for as long as i can. the walk home or rather to THE HOUSE seems to be longer than the walk away, i saw the same man who had been asleep on a bus bench that i scared sitting on the same bus bench, i started to say hello, i knew he remembered me just as i had remembered him, i started by him, looked at him, he nodded, so did i, and then he said to me so how was it? i asked him how was what? your trip he said, i shrugged my shoulders, kept walking and he said see you latter, i thought to myself i don't think so , i said to him have a safe day, and then i wondered to myself why did i say a safe day and not a great day. i really started thinking about the safety of wimmin and men who live on the streets, are dogs treated so badly? again i don't think so, i passed the grocery store that i first stopped at to ask for some work, the man who owned the store looked up at me as i past by he was sweeping off the sidewalk in front of his store, just for the heck of it i asked him if he had any work that i could do in exchange for a cheese sandwich, he stopped what he was doing and said ain't you the same one who asked for work before? i answered yes, and he said what did i tell you then, you told me that you could not be bother with homeless people and especially wimmin because if we where right we would have a husband and a family to take care and not be on the streets, he said right but you come on in i am not real busy and i will see what i can come up with, at that time me alter showed up she said be aware of what you are about to get involved in, and i remember a saying my mother had whenever she felt not too comfortable with something,she would always say something is not right my head tickles, and my head was more than tickling it was down right itching, so i refused his offer he said see you all are all alike, with that i kept walking and walked a bit faster, i did not like him something about him gave me the creeps, so i walked noting with my eye in the back of my head that he was not coming after me with his broom, he was not. the mangoes that i had eaten earlier were in my lower tract and i was getting very hungry, i remembered that i had read we could survive on water alone for a period of time before our bodies started to eat up vital cells, so i figured i was safe on water at least until i got to THE HOUSE, and now to find water, i had learned being on the streets that it was very important to have a pair of pliers, so that when you saw a faucet you could turn it on and get water, so i spotted a faucet on the side of an old bank building, i had a plastic jar which had become my constant companion, went to the faucet and filled it up with water drank it, filled it up again and continued walking, i knew that i would need to rest in about an hour so i started thinking about sleep time i knew that i would be relatively safe sleeping durning the day and could continue my walk to THE HOUSE later,so now for a nap. there was a huge empty lot with some trees and the lot had just recently been mowed, so i walked over, placed my pack down, spread my jacket, sat down, looked up and around and laid down, sleep came easy.