COMING HOME OR GOING HOME?

well i have made up my mind i am going home or should that be coming home or should that be home is where the heart is, i am at home even though i am living on the streets and under the expressways and trees, bus benches, parks, beaches,behind stores abandon cars, trucks, houses, buildings. i do believe that i want to go back (me alter says there is no going back) OK i agree i want to go on to live in THE HOUSE i was living in before i got this thing to live homeless, yes there is a certain feeling of freedom living on the streets, however there is a high level of danger and a womon must sleep with her eyes open all the time day and night, i do not think the dangers are any greater than if a womon lives in a house, apt, condo etc., however the dangers seem to be more intense and close up constantly, i do know that i have become a less fearful womon since i have been on the streets i do not seem to have the hovering internal fear of everything and body now that i have allowed myself to live raw, so to speak, i also realize that i truly enjoy being with other wimmin and i really do not miss the crush of humanity nor do i miss man and his kind. I must figure out a way to re conciliate myself with my mother,sisters and friends, i have been talking to my mother a bit and assured her that i am OK, she still thinks that i am visiting friends and i will leave that like that,(me alter says that behavior is dishonest) but this is the way i will leave it for now, maybe latter i will tell everyone where i have been and what i was doing, now what is important is for me to get back to THE HOUSE and start using my new found inner freedom. so with that in mind i am starting my journey to THE HOUSE. i started this journey on a bus bench,so i think i will find a bus bench for the time and see how it goes, the bus bench i decided on was not the same one i started out on, this time i deliberately picked a bus bench in the POSHERS area, it was still daylight so i felt relatively safe, i parked my butt on the bench, pulled out a dated newspaper, a pencil and my note book, i felt that this was a perfect time to do some more writing and not only that the cops are less incline to bother me if i look as though am reading or writing something, glad that the weather is nice, i noticed that in a POSH HOOD if you always look as though you are involved in some sort of intellectual act you know like reading those who pass by get curious about what it is you are reading and almost always want to hold a conversations with you, so knowing that i had found a magazine that someone threw out called healthy living this womon passed by said good morning, smiled, and said that is a very good magazine you are reading, i told her that i had just become acquainted with it and she informed me that she saves all her copies to read again at a later time because they were so informative, and then she kept on her way, i continued to sit and act as though i was reading, and i really thought i was reading until i heard a plop that was the magazine hitting the ground, glad it was not me i had fallen off into a deep sleep. i got up from the bus bench saw a bus coming wondered how many buses had past, looked into my pack i had enough money to catch a bus and buy some bananas, i thought about both of those ideas, decided not to catch the bus and started walking, walked for about an hour spotted a mango tree full of fruit on an empty lot and went mango picking, picked seven mango's ate three and continued on my way to THE HOUSE. Seems as though a lot has happened since i first started on this trip and the trip has not been a year although often times it seemed that long. As i was walking some teen-age boys passed me and i heard one of them say to the other i bet shes street garbage i turned around and said HEY, they turned and looked and me and i growled the deepest growl i could muster up and as i was growling i started to walk toward them, one of them said that bitch is f...... crazy and they ran like bats out of hell, i just stood there and me alter said and so what were you going to do and i heard myself answer i don't know, my heart was beating fast and i found myself smiling, i kept walking and at this point i realized that i was about two days walking from THE HOUSE i had promised myself that i was going to walk all the way, right now though i am full and i need to sit a bit, i found a supermarket sat at one of their out door tables pulled out my Swiss army knife and started to peel a mango, a man sitting at the table next to me said wow that mango sure smells good i know you did not buy it here, at first i was going to ignore him but i also discovered since i have been on the streets HE DOES NOT ENJOY BEING IGNORED and i at this point care not to get into it with HE so i looked at him and without a smile and said o no sir a friend gave it to me, he wanted to continue conversation which he did i said nothing, he finally got the drift but not before he came over to the table and said to me you look like you could use some company, that did it i said please leave me alone at first he turned colors and said to me young lady you could learn some good manners, i started to say and you poot-butt need to go to hell, i did not say a word and he left. (me alter said you are beginning to learn how to think some before you open your mouth, see how effective that is) i did not say anything to her either, i kept eating my mango and thinking to myself MEN REALLY THINK WIMMIN ARE HERE EXCLUSIVELY FOR THEM. NOW THAT IS REALLY IDIOTIC